Member-only story
From ‘CB Funnyman’ forthcoming (2022)
Lucy Starrs — Don’t Thank Your
A Contemporary Poem
Kathy the Goth — a graduate from
Berkeley, California, so she said —
except not remotely true as it turned out —
was a big girl, meaning proportionately
big and dumpy and fat all over —
massive wobbly bosoms and a wide arse —
big girl but not obscenely so; she had a nice
friendly face and winning smile; but
she also harboured a strange habit which,
bizarrely, I’m not sure she
even knew about.
Or did she?
(She was working in my office
at the time but shouldn’t/oughtn’t to
have been, as she had lied about
her qualifications, which were
non-existent. Worse still, she was
ineducable.)
Now Kathy, after pretty well
every visit she paid to
the bog, even when you
least expected it, say after
hearing her taking a noisy,
drilling, pneumatic and frothy piss,
would leave a little black shit
squirt on the front — repeat yes
on…
